Triple Triptych II
*~ VI. Blended (Sam/Svetlana Markov)

So we lied. Big deal. Daniel didn't lie... I still remember seeing him separate from us, floating by himself in the goo. Looking back, I believe maybe they kept him apart because he was the only one who had tried to touch the 'water.' Svetlana and I had tried to hold him back, pull him out of it's grip. That was
the only reason she and I were trapped alongside him. But I'm digressing. Daniel was separated, kept afloat an arm's length away, seemingly unconscious. Svetlana and I, however... I think the aliens made a huge mistake.

It's not their fault. We thought they were water, they probably thought we were... something else, too. Maybe they didn't think it mattered... one was as good as two, three was as good as four. Odds are it didn't know how many of us were in the submersible. The only thing I can say for certain is that, while outside of the ship, I no longer existed. Svetlana and I were blended; one entity. I saw through her eyes and she saw through mine. I felt her heart pounding while mine remained right where it's always been. My skin felt completely different, however...


I had never before realized the way my skin attached to my muscles. No one ever does, I guess. But it felt like I was wearing an extremely tight suit that I could never remove. It just... felt wrong. I can't explain it any other way. I felt her breasts in place of my own. She was missing two toes on her right foot and the space was definitely noticeable. Afterward, she told me she heard the thoughts of Jolinar.

The hardest thing, I think, would be if I had retained her memories. I couldn't deal with having a second person's memories in my head. I would probably have to either kill myself or lock myself up in a loony bin. Thankful, I only remember it as a shared experience. Nothing in her brain lingered in mine.

Even after being purged through the Stargate, I felt a connection to Svetlana. We remained in Russia for two days for the debrief to the Russian superiors (including the jackass Colonel Chekov... if I never see him again, it'll be too soon) and I loathed being away from her for long. When we were scheduled to
leave, I somehow found myself at her apartment. I knocked, shaking and wondering what had brought me here. Luckily, I didn't have to worry. She wasn't home.

Walking home, I felt dejected. I didn't know what I expected from my midnight visit, but I know I was crushed to be returning to my hotel this early. My heart leapt when I spotted her leaning against the door of my hotel room. She straightened and looked at me, her eyes as lost as I felt. "I... don't know why I came here," she said.

We kissed. I had never had feelings for another woman before, never considered a lesbian relationship. Most girls have the 'when I was in college and everyone else was experimenting' story, but I was never  interested in that. But there was something chemically right about being with Svetlana. I let her into my hotel room and stripped her, exploring a body I had already been completely inside of, mind body and spirit. She repeated the gesture with me.

I knew precisely what she wanted and how hard she wanted it... I'm not sure if that was a result of her being a woman or because of what we'd shared
off-world. At the moment, I didn't care. We kissed more than anything else. Her skin was amazingly warm under my fingertips... I don't know why I noticed that above all. I kissed her nipples and tasted her juices as they flowed. Everything in me was trembling, warm and vibrant.

I came more in that one night than I had since I joined the SGC. When we finished, Svetlana kissed me once more and told me she loved me. I repeated the gesture, knowing that it was the truest thing I'd ever told a lover. I had been her. She had been me. No one would ever know us in that way again. "Will I see you again, 'Lana?" I asked as she walked to the door.

"We are in each other's hearts," she told me. "You will see me when you close your eyes tonight. And every night. Good-bye, Samantha." She smiled sadly and left.

That afternoon, the intrepid SG-1 - savers of the world - returned home to roost. Over the next couple of months, I had many empty love affairs. I brought home strangers and used them. One night stands became my forte. I even tried women for a while, testing the regs a bit in an attempt to regain what I had that one night in Siberia. I failed every time. At one point, I even calculated the price of flying to Russia every
weekend I had off-duty. It turned out to be far too much for a fuck, no matter how great.

Currently, I'm "dating" Janet Fraiser. What we have is special, I'll admit. A friend turned lover always has it's advantages. But... no one will ever come close to what I had with Svetlana.