Title: What Hurts The Most
By: Clara

Summary: And not seeing that loving you, is what I was trying to do
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: They’re not mine
Author’s Note: Inspired by the Rascall Flatts song.
***

Carly’s eyes shot open as she was jolted awake from yet another vivid dream.

Her hands were clenched in the sheets and she fought to get her breathing back under control.

She’d been dreaming each night since Jax had left and she could never quite remember what it was that woke her.

Images danced at the edge of her consciousness and she shook her head in an effort to bring them into sharper focus or banish them completely so they’d stop torturing her.

She slipped out of bed and opened the door slowly, not wanting to disturb the boys.

Silently she made her way down the stairs and into the kitchen where she stared out at her garden and the house next door.

This place was the first that truly felt like hers, one of the things she’d loved was just how quiet it had seemed, perfect for her and the boys. But the horror that had taken place next door still haunted her and she couldn’t suppress the shiver that made its way down her spine as she stared at the still empty house.

She shook herself out of the reverie and set about filling a glass with water before making her way to the couch, she sat down carefully, tucking her feet under her as she nursed the glass in her hands and contemplated the last few days.

It hadn’t been easy explaining to the boys why Jax wouldn’t be around for awhile and she was pretty sure she was still in denial about just how long he’d be gone for. She couldn’t allow herself to think about the fact that he might never return, it hurt too much.

She kept repeating his whispered words in her head and briefly she wondered if that was part of what was keeping her awake, the fact that he hadn’t heard her return them.

The ringing off the phone shook her from her thoughts and furrowing her brow in confusion, why would anyone be calling at 4am?

Putting her glass on the table she leaned over and grabbed the phone off the coffee table and took a deep breath before answering. “Hello?”

She waited for a moment before repeating the word with nothing but the sound of a crowd greeting her.

“Whoever this is, I don’t appreciate silent…” She stopped herself and leaned forward, her other hand gripping the edge of the couch. “Jax? Is that you?”

The line went dead and she stared at the phone for a moment before a smile spread across her face as she hit end.

She wasn’t quite sure why a silent call, which might not have been from him, had such an effect on her, but suddenly she felt more calm and settled.

Not quite ready to go back to bed she settled back against the cushions of the couch and closed her eyes, daydreaming about the moments she and Jax had shared over the past months and with any luck, the ones they would have together in the future.

***

Across the globe, Jax stood in a crowded airport; hand on the end button of the payphone. He’d just wanted to hear her voice and remind himself of what he had to go home to.

For the first time in days, Jasper Jacks smiled.