New Year, New Book
By Erin

E-MAIL: [email protected]
RATING: R? Maybe?
DISCLAIMER: I own no one... *sigh*

³Hey, baby,² Catherine peeked into her daughterıs room, watching the tiny

blonde struggle with an overpacked suitcase. ³You sure you want to take all
of that with you?²

Lindsay turned around and nodded. ³I havenıt had a chance to play with all
my new toys yet! If I donıt bring them with me, then weıll come back from
the trip, and Iıll have to go to school, and then...² she took a much-needed
breath. ³Weıll have show and tell, and I wonıt know what to bring!²

With two fluent strides, she was by her daughter. She flipped the top of the
suitcase up and peeked inside. ³Sweetie, there are no clothes in here!²

³All I want to bring is toys!²

Catherine wanted to laugh, but she didnıt think her daughter would
appreciate it. Instead, she bit her lip until the urge was suppressed, and
then sat down on the floor against the bed. ³How about tonight, you test
them all out, and pick five toys to take with you?²

Lindsay pouted. ³Only five?²

The strawberry blonde nodded. ³Only five.²

³Uncle Gilıs coming by tonight!² Lindsay continued dramatically. Catherine
wondered where she discovered this flair. ³I canıt play with toys! We always
watch a holiday movie, and drink egg nog, and play board games!²

She shrugged, almost ruing the tradition she and Gil had created since her
divorce. ³Well, how about.... hmmmmm... instead of playing a board game, Gil
can help you test out your toys?²

Lindsayıs frown turned into a smile. ³You think heıd like to help?²

Catherine grinned and nodded. ³Iım sure heıd love to.²

~*~

Gil looked at his suitcases, and shook his head. He had no idea why he was
going to take the younger CSIıs up on their offer of a vacation. For
Christmas, Sara, Nick, Greg, and Warrick pitched in and bought him a return
trip to a resort at Banff, an area in Canada that was known for its
beautiful winter and all the activities associated with winter.

Part of him was looking forward to the trip. He had always been fascinated
by snow, and he knew getting away from the office would do him some good. He
was still worried, though; Greg had offered to take care of his bugs, and
the CSIıs were going to rotate shifts.

Catherine had been his first choice of tentative supervisor, but she was
taking Lindsay away for a New Year celebration. So, he had to divide the
labour among the remaining members of the Graveshift team.

When his clock in the living area of his townhouse chimed. He glanced up. He
checked his watch and bit back a groan; he was going to be late for dinner
at Catherineıs.

Every year, they waited until sometime between Christmas and New Yearıs Day
to celebrate the holiday, depending on work and family commitments. Last
year, the festivities had been at Gilıs home, and this year, Catherine was
hosting the meal. They sat around, listening to carols, drinking festive
drinks; later, they ate, and exchanged gifts.

He grabbed his leather coat, and the wrapped boxes on the table in his
foyer, before locking the door behind him and rushing to his car.

As he drove towards his best friendıs house, he started to worry about the
gift he was going to give Catherine. He didnıt know if she was going to like
it; however, it was too beautiful and it instantly reminded him of her. When
he had picked it up in the store, a memory from their past had been
triggered:

³Whatıs this?² Gil held up a leather-bound volume that had been sitting on
her mantle. She blushed and snagged it out of his hand before he had a
chance to react. ³Cath?²

She tucked it in a drawer. ³Itıs my diary.² She turned and looked at him. ³I
found it in a box in the basement, started flipping through it. I should
really put that away before Eddie gets back.²

³You donıt strike me as the journal-keeping type.²

³I know,² Catherine smiled. ³But, it really helped me when things in my life
werenıt so stable. I always think that Iıd like to start another, from a
happier point in my life, but I donıt know if Iıve arrived there yet.²

He smiled and sat back down on her sofa. ³You will. Think youıll let me read
the old one?²

She looked at him and shook her head with a playful grin. ³Not a chance.²
She stretched her arms over her head and reached for her phone. ³Itıs too
hot to cook. What did you want on your pizza?²

When he didnıt answer her, instead gazing at her to prod a better response
than her first one, she called the pizza place and ordered their usual.
Then, she hung the phone up and sat next to him. ³I didnıt even want to read
it, Gil.²

³You always call me Grissom in front of the team.²

She nodded, with a smile. ³I know.²

³Whenıs Eddie coming back?²

She sighed. ³Who knows. He said heıd be away Œon businessı for the weekend.
So, I guess tomorrow.² She leaned back. Gil reached out and gently rubbed
the foot he could reach. ³That feels so good. Thanks.²

³You did really well tonight,² he praised her. ³You like your job, donıt
you?²

She grinned and slipped her foot away. ³I love it almost as much as I love
Lindsay.²

He smiled back at her. ³Good, Iım glad.² He looked at the drawer and then
back at her, his curiosity burning. ³Youıve never kept secrets from me
before...²

Catherine rolled her eyes. ³Gil... there were things in there I didnıt even
want to read.² She sighed. ³When I write another journal, Iıll let you read
a couple of the entries.²

He grinned. ³The whole thing.²

³No fair! You donıt have anything that I want to read!²

³Donıt I?²

Her mouth dropped. ³Donıt tell me you keep a journal.²

Gil chuckled. ³No, I donıt.²

³See?²

He held his hands up and wiggled his fingers. ³An hour long massage.
Whenever, wherever.²

³Deal.²

****

Gil took a deep breath and knocked on her door. When it opened, he had to
look down to see who was there. Lindsay grinned up at him. ³Uncle Gil!²

He bent down and hugged her. ³Merry Christmas, Lindsay.²

Catherine walked into his view. ³Gil,² she smiled, and then spoke to
Lindsay. ³Baby, why donıt you step back and let him in?² When Gil was
inside, and when the door was closed, she reached for his hand. ³Merry
Christmas.²

He kissed her cheek lightly. ³Same to you, Catherine.² Before he took his
coat off, he held the presents up. ³I brought you two lovely ladies
something.²

Lindsay giggled excitedly. ³We have presents for you, too!²

He grinned down at her. ³Really?² She nodded. He bent down again so he could
hand her the box with her name on it. Then, he straightened and put
Catherineıs present and the card in her hands. ³This is for you.²

³You didnıt have to,² she sighed with a smile.

³But,² he smiled back at her. ³I wanted to. Thereıs a difference.²

³I know,² she responded. ³Let me get your coat.² He felt heat when she
helped him shrug out of his leather coat. They were only friends, but every
time he reminded himself of that, he felt a distinct sadness. He wanted to
be able to love her, and have her love him in return. Their friendly
relationship hadnıt given in to passion. He knew he shouldnıt think so much
about what he couldnıt have, but it was getting harder.

³Thanks, Cath,² he said as he followed her into the living room. Lindsay was
holding the box and shaking it close to her ear. He knew it wouldnıt shake,
and couldnıt help but smile at her. ³Is she allowed to open it, Mom?²

Catherine shot him a look that hinted at impending trouble later. Then, she
turned to her daughter. ³Sweetie, if you want to, you can. But, once itıs
open, itıs open, and there are no more surprises.²

Gil muttered light-heartedly, ³If sheıs anything like her mother, she might
like to get rid of the surprise.²

Catherine had heard him and countered. ³I have plenty of reasons to not like
surprises. Sheıs still young. Surprises are fun then.²

³You might like this surprise.²

She looked at him. He didnıt know what emotions he was supposed to be
reading, but he knew that her eyes were full of them. She shook her head and
started talking. ³Iım being a crappy host. Do you want a drink, Gil?²

He winked at her daughter. ³Are we having egg nog, kiddo?²

Lindsay nodded and rushed into the kitchen. Catherine wagged a finger at Gil
and then followed the young girl into the other room. Gil chuckled and sat
back, trying to make himself comfortable.

~*~

Catherine knew her fingers were shaking a little bit as she tugged on the
white ribbon. She wondered what Gil was giving her. She saw his hands
holding the present she intended to give him, but he didnıt make any move to
open it.

She bit back a groan. She really did hate surprises, and this gift was no
different. Every time she eyed it, she felt his eyes on her; he was making
her nervous. ³Gil, how about you open yours first?²

He smiled at her. ³I like watching you.²

³Please open yours first?² She asked, trying to be persuasive. She wanted to
see the look on his face when he opened his present. It had taken her
forever to decide on what she wanted to get him. When she heard from Sara
about the trip they were sending Gil on for his present, she knew that he
probably didnıt have what she was getting him.

He lifted the lid. His eyes widened a little. ³How did you hear about the
trip?²

³Sara told me they were sending you somewhere with snow.² She smiled,
watching him hold up the insulated leather gloves and the scarf. The scarf
was a dark blue cashmere. She knew heıd appreciate the texture and warmth of
the fabric. ³I didnıt think you had anything you could use to keep you
warm.²

³Thank you,² he smiled. She watched him finger the scarf. When he smiled
again, she knew that he enjoyed the feel of the material. ³I canıt wait to
wear it. Although,² he winced. ³That means I have to go outside.²

She nodded. ³Yes, it does. Lindsay? Did you want to open yours now?²

She could guess what Gil had given her daughter; every year, it was somewhat
the same. This time, she saw that it was a teddy bear, similar to all of the
others. This one was a Santa bear, and was wearing a red cap. Lindsay
grinned. ³Excellent! Another one for my collection!² She stood up and
wrapped her arms around Gilıs neck. ³Thank you!²

He returned the gesture and ended up pulling Lindsay into his lap. Catherine
felt the lump in her throat swell when she saw how comfortable Lindsay was
in her best friendıs presence. ³Youıre welcome, kiddo. Now, if your mother
would open hers, we could put the movie on.²

Catherine chuckled as her daughter edged her on. ³Oh, fine. Iıll open it.²
She took a deep breath and attacked the ribbon again, this time with more
confidence. She tugged the bow, and slipped the white material away from the
dark paper. Then, she carefully ripped the paper and opened the box.

She gasped. When her eyes reached his, he smiled and nodded. She picked it
up, and thumbed through it. When she realised it was blank, she looked at
him again. He nodded again. ³So, you do remember.²

Catherine nodded. ³I donıt think Iıve ever forgotten one of our
conversations.² She looked down at the book again and ran her hands over the
leather cover. ³I didnıt expect this at all.²

³You seemed much happier, than before,² he explained. ³I thought that maybe
now would be a good time to start writing again.²

She knew that if she didnıt get a grip, sheıd start to cry. Tears of joy,
but they were still tears and she didnıt want to put Gil through that. She
smiled and reached for his hand. When she wove her fingers with his, she
spoke. ³Thank you.²

³Mommy?²

She glanced at her daughter, still curled up in Gilıs lap. ³Yes, Lindsay?²

³What is it?²

³Itıs a journal,² Gil explained. Catherine was grateful he jumped in,
because she didnıt know how sheıd explain the meaning of the book to her
daughter without letting a few tears slip. ³Your mother used to keep one,
before you were born. Then, she had you, and your father, and work, and she
was too busy to write down anything important.² He looked up at Catherine;
she wondered if he looked at her that way on purpose to provoke a reaction,
or if it was completely accidental. ³So, I gave her this book, so she can
write again when she feels like it.²

Lindsay sighed and pressed herself into Gilıs torso. ³Thatıs nice.² She
stifled a yawn. Catherine looked down at her, ready to ask her if she was
tired, but she was stopped. ³No, Mom, Iım fine. I want to stay up and watch
the movie.²

³We have to leave awfully early, Linds,² Catherine didnıt want her daughter
to leave, leaving them alone for the rest of the evening, but she knew how
Lindsay could be when she was overtired.

³Noooo,² she protested. ³Just let me stay until I fall asleep. Then Uncle
Gil can tuck me in.²

She smirked, tucking her blonde tresses behind her tiny ear. ³What am I?
Chopped liver?²

Lindsay smiled. ³Of course not.²

Gil leaned down and got into the conversation. ³What movie should we watch,
Linds?²

³Charlie Brown...²

Catherine smiled, putting the book down on the coffee table, to get up and
put the right video in. She heard Gil and Lindsay moving around on the sofa,
and when she returned to the couch, after turning the TV on and a couple
lights out, she saw that they had moved so Lindsay was on one side of him,
and Catherine would be on the other.

She sat down next to him and glanced at Lindsay. Her beautiful eyes were
almost completely closed. Gil chuckled. When Catherine tucked a pillow under
her head, he looked at her and kept laughing. ³Like mother, like daughter?²

³Hey, now,² she pulled the pillow out from under her head and swatted him
with it. ³Iım just getting comfortable.²

³Right.²

When the opening credits started, he stopped laughing, and lifted his arm
closest to her. ³Cımıere,² he suggested. ³I make a better pillow.²

She giggled nervously, and put the pillow against his slumped form. ³Extra
padding,² she explained as she adjusted her position so her head fell on the
pillow. Her heart fluttered when she felt his arm drape over her. They had
been friends for so long, and even though it seemed like sometimes he was
pulling back, it seemed like they were getting closer.

He adjusted himself a little, to accommodate Lindsay, who was already
sleeping. Catherine whispered: ³Maybe we should put her to bed, and find
something a little less cartoony to keep ourselves occupied with?²

Gil shrugged. ³I donıt know. Iım kinda enjoying this.²

³You enjoy the Charlie Brown Christmas movies?²

³I think itıs the Snoopy dance,² Gil chuckled. Catherine looked up and
rolled her eyes. When he smiled at her, she felt her stomach flop. She hoped
her reaction to him didnıt show anywhere on her face; she didnıt think she
could handle the rejection and weirdness that typically followed in those
sorts of situations.

They fell into a silence that felt comfortable. She tried to watch the
screen, but she found it hard to concentrate when he was so close to her.
She wanted to ask him about the book, but every time she tried to think of
the right words, it seemed silly.

³What are you thinking about?²

She nearly jumped as he shook her from her thoughts with his whispered
question. ³What?²

³Youıre biting your lip and your forehead is furrowed. Leads me to believe
youıre deep in thought.²

He knew her so well. She blushed and turned a bit so she was looking up at
him. ³Yeah. I was thinking about the journal,² she admitted. ³And, the night
you tried to read my old one.²

³What was in that old one?²

She smiled. ³Maybe someday, when Iıve come to grips with everything that
Iıve experienced and thought,² she sighed. ³Maybe when Iım comfortable and
secure with my past... maybe then Iıll let you read it.²

³You know your past doesnıt bother me. Itıs made you who you are today,² she
nodded as he spoke. ³And, I was friends with you during some of that.²

³I know...² She didnıt want to think about the days when Gil would stop by
the club to visit, despite knowing about her coke habit, despite knowing
about her rough-handed boyfriend, despite knowing that she was a dancer.
They would go to breakfast together, and talk, and he treated her like a
real person. In those days, her crush on Gil had been controllable. She told
herself she wasnıt good enough for him, and that she definitely wasnıt his
type, and those answers kept her heart from asking more questions. As time
passed, though, she fell for him even harder; and, when she established
herself in the Crime Lab, she couldnıt use her career as a roadblock. ³It
was a dark time in my life. I was thinking a lot of heavy things.² She
chuckled, trying to keep it light. ³Youıd probably think I was weird after
reading it. Freaky stuff.²

He shook his head. ³I already know youıre weird.²

³Gil...²

³In a good way. Youıre one of those interesting people, with the strangest
combination of life experiences.² He shrugged. ³Iım jealous. I havenıt seen
or done as much as you.²

She knew if he kept it up, she was going to cry. ³Oh, stop. You make
everything sound... glamourised. It wasnıt like the movies.²

³I know. But, itıs made you you. I wouldnıt want you to be any different.²

She sighed. Before she could control it, her hand was seeking the one that
was resting on her shoulder. His fingers linked with hers.

This was the best Christmas yet.

****

Gil had put Lindsay to bed, and put her new stuffed bear on the shelf with
the others. Catherine came up behind him, putting a hand on his shoulder. He
struggled, trying to keep his breathing at an even tempo, even when his
pulse quickened and his body heated up. ³Thank you.²

³She looks so peaceful.²

³Sheıs a kid,² Catherine joked as she pulled him out of the room. He shut
the door behind them. ³Life is great when youıre nine, without a care in the
world.²

³What time does your plane leave?²

He didnıt know where she was going, but he knew it was tradition. She didnıt
even tell her daughter where they went every year, just that it was a place
that was different from Nevada. Every year, Catherine would pick a place
that had something that Las Vegas couldnıt possibly have. Last year, they
went to Florida. The year before that, they went to California. Catherine
wanted Lindsay to be able to say she stuck her toes in both the Atlantic and
the Pacific Oceans.

³Early. Nine, I think.²

³Maybe I should‹²

She had reached for him before he had a chance to finish his sentence. ³No,
not yet. We havenıt talked in a while.²

He knew he had been distant lately. While he struggled to deal with his
gradual hearing loss, he knew he had been pulling back. He didnıt want her
to find out; if anyone was going to notice the change in his behaviour, it
would be her.

Catherine spoke before him. ³White or red?²

³Red,² he smiled. She left him sitting in the living room, but returned
after a couple minutes. She handed him a glass of red wine, and kept one for
herself. ³What did you want to talk about?²

She shrugged. ³I donıt know, actually. Anything you want to know?²

He smiled and sipped his wine before setting it down. He turned to face her
on the sofa. ³How are you doing?²

³Better,² she answered. ³Things have finally quieted down a bit. Itıs
nice... most of the time.²

He nodded, knowing what she meant. He knew Eddieıs death was harder on her
than she let on. Lindsay had told him once that she had been crying a lot;
he hadnıt gone to Catherine with that information, but instead, he made sure
that he was available for her.

³Excited for your trip?² She asked with a grin.

Gil groaned. ³Iım going to be away for a week, away from work, away from...²
He managed to catch himself before he completely ruined things between them.
³I donıt know what Iım going to do without‹²

³What were you going to say?² Her lips stretched into a smile. He shook his
head, but she kept going. ³Away from what?²

He blushed. She wasnıt going to give up. She kept asking him, he kept
shaking his head and wishing he could pull back, but she wasnıt letting him.

³Away from what?²

³You.²

Her eyes widened. At first, he thought it was a bad sign, but when her smile
returned, he relaxed. ³Awww. Are you going to miss me?²

³You can quit teasing me, Cath,² he responded, cheeks turning red. ³I just
meant‹²

She cut him off. ³Itıs sweet, Gil. I like knowing someone appreciates me
enough to miss me for five days.² She set her glass of wine down on the
coffee table after another sip. ³Seriously.²

He watched her lick her lips, before turning his eyes away. He was too
close, too alone with her, too weak to be there. He drank from his glass
twice, before setting it down.

³Do I make you nervous, Gil?²

His eyes were brought up to hers sharply. Her question surprised him. It
wasnıt an easy answer. He didnıt know how he was going to tackle his
response. ³What do you mean, Cath?²

She shrugged. ³You keep looking away, and clearing your throat. And,² she
added with a sweet grin. ³Youıve blushed more tonight than I think Iıve ever
seen you blush.² She shrugged again. ³So, the only logical explanation I can
come up with is nerves. But, then, I donıt know why Iıd make you nervous, I
mean, itıs only me, and well, how long have we known each other? Way too
long, and‹²

³Youıre rambling.²

Catherine blushed.

³And, youıre blushing,² Gil grinned. ³Whoıs nervous?²

³Oh shush,² she rolled her eyes. ³Just because Iım a little more readable
than you are...² She paused and looked him squarely in the eyes. ³Why are
things different tonight?²

³I donıt know,² he answered with a sigh, relieved that she had noticed as
well. He didnıt know. He knew that his feelings for her would swell his
heart until he couldnıt contain them; but he thought that point would come
much later. The dynamic between them had changed, though; the reason behind
the change still eluded him. ³Weıre acting really silly, though.²

She nodded in agreement. ³We are. All this blushing and rambling and
squirming.² She then asked: ³Are we drunk?²

Gil laughed. ³I donıt think so.²

³Good,² she smiled back at him.

Nervous and uncomfortable, Gil suggested: ³I think I should head out. I have
an early flight tomorrow, too.² When she pouted, he countered. ³Earlier than
yours.²

³Ouch.²

³Yeah.²

She stood up and offered him her hand. When he took it, he felt a sharp
longing to turn her hand over and kiss its palm, but he refrained. Silently,
she found his coat in the closet, while he slipped into his shoes.

³Ooh!² She said, after stepping away from him. ³You forgot something!²

When she came back with his scarf and gloves, he smiled. ³I wouldıve
regretted leaving those behind.² He took the gloves from her and tucked them
in his pocket. He watched her play with the scarf, ending by draping it over
his neck.

³Yes,² she nodded. ³You probably wouldıve.²

³Thanks.²

She blushed. ³Thank you, too. I... it means a lot.²

He opened his arms and was slightly surprised when she wrapped herself
around him. He rocked her back and forth. ³Well, you mean a lot... to me.²
She looked up at him and smiled. He smiled back. ³Merry Christmas, Cath.²

Gil had leaned down to brush her cheek with his lips, but he hadnıt
calculated Catherineıs movements. Their lips met. Gil, shocked, didnıt move.
Catherine had pulled back, but she shocked him even more when she pressed
her lips against his again.

Fear, love, passion, rejection, humiliation... there were so many emotions
pumping through Gilıs system. He tightened his hold on her and kissed her
back, wondering what was going on in her mind.

When she finally pulled away, her cheeks were flushed and her lips were
swollen. He felt a strange twinge of pride knowing it was him who had
affected her like that.

³We kissed...² She spoke first, still in his arms.

³Yeah.²

³Wow. Did you want to‹²

He cut her off, putting a finger to her lips. ³We both have places to be in
the next ten hours,² she frowned, pouting slightly. ³When I get back,
though, the first thing weıll do is talk about this.²

³Talk?² She raised an eyebrow. ³I wasnıt exactly thinking about talking...²

³Cath,² he knew she wasnıt happy with him. He didnıt want to talk, either,
but he knew it had to be done. There were so many things that needed
considering. ³I donıt wanna lose our friendship. If somethingıs going to
happen... I want to be careful... I...² He shrugged and pulled back. ³Iım so
bad at sharing personal stuff.²

She nodded. He knew he saw disappointment written on her face, despite the
fact that she had put her guard up. He could always see through her
defences. ³When we get back...²

³I promise.²

****

Catherine was wrapped up in her new journal when they were an hour outside
of Calgary, Alberta. Lindsay was sleeping soundly next to her. She looked
around at the empty section of the plane and wondered how lucky she was to
have her seats upgraded.

When they had arrived at the airport, the attendant at the ticket counter
told her that their seats had been switched from coach to business class.
She wasnıt going to complain; there was so much more space in business
class. Lindsay would love it, as there werenıt many chances sheıd get to fly
in such comfort. Catherine sank into the larger chair and knew the long
flight wouldnıt be so bad.

She was writing, like she had yearned to do so many times, but didnıt know
where to to start. After the previous night, she knew where to start.

Gil had kissed her; it had felt so right. They had been acting so weirdly
towards each other for weeks; one kiss, and it had all made sense. She had
been painstakingly aware of her crush on him, but she didnıt know he had the
same feelings.

After the kiss, things had gone awry. She noticed Gilıs defence tactics; she
knew he was trying to protect himself, by suggesting that they talk about it
later. She wanted to lock him in her room and not let him leave until she
discovered everything he kept hidden under his clothes. He put his
roadblocks up, and she did the same so he wouldnıt see how much the
rejection hurt.

Briefly, she had considered taking it slow, and thinking about the changes a
change in their relationship would create. However, after further thought,
the idea seemed senseless. Nobody knew Gil better than herself, and nobody
knew her better than he did. They had been friends for so long, she couldnıt
imagine what it would be like to not have him in her life. People starting
relationships take it slow because they donıt know the other person very
well. Catherine knew Gil better than she knew herself, sometimes, and she
knew it was the same for him.

³Mommy?²

She glanced up from the beige page, and set her pen down. ³Yes, Baby?²

³Are we almost there?²

Catherine smiled and nodded. ³Yeah. Are you excited?²

Lindsay nodded. ³Yep!² She looked at the journal sitting in her motherıs
lap. ³Are you writing in your diary?²

³A little, yeah,² Catherine answered.

³What are you writing about?²

She smiled. ³How happy I am,² she closed the book and tucked it into her
purse. ³Look,² she pointed out the window. ³Weıre almost there!²

³How long is the drive after that?²

³A couple of hours,² Catherine replied. ³It wonıt be too bad, though. Weıll
stop for some lunch on the way, okay?² Lindsay nodded, leaning over her
mother to peek out the window. Catherine watched the small buildings get
larger, her mind travelling to Gil, and where his vacation was taking him.

~*~

When the bellboy left him in his room, Gil looked around, unsure of what he
was supposed to be doing. He walked to the window and watched the snow fall
in the early afternoon sky. Banff was beautiful; he just didnıt know what he
was going to do while enjoying the beauty.

First, he turned the fireplace on. Then, he started unpacking some of his
things. He wanted to keep himself as busy as possible, so he wouldnıt have
to face what had happened the night before. He had let his guard down;
Catherine knew all of his secrets, now.

His thoughts were interrupted by someone knocking at the door.

³Room service!²

Gil, puzzled, walked to the door. ³I didnıt order anything.²

³It was ordered from Las Vegas. From a group that called themselves
ŒGraveshift.²

He smiled and opened the door. ³Cımon in.²

A young man pushed a cart in. There was a light lunch, some wine, and a
card. Gil grinned, tipped the man, and shut the door after he left. The
second he was alone, he opened the card, and read it out loud: ³Merry
Christmas, Grissom. We hope youıre having fun! Love, the Team.²

He picked up his phone and called Warrickıs cell phone. ³Brown,² he
answered.

³Hey, Warrick.²

³Gris! What are you doinı, callinı work! Your ass is supposed to be out
enjoyinı things like skiinı!² They both laughed. ³Guess you got our lunch?²

Gil smiled. ³Yes. Thanks. How are things going there?²

³Just fine.²

³Youıre not going to tell me anything, are you?²

Warrick laughed. ³No, man. Nothing. Youıre on vacation, remember?² The
laughed again. Gil shook his head; his employees knew him better than he
thought. ³Hold up. Nick and Sara just came into the room. They want to talk
to you.²

³Alright.²

³Hey, Gris!² Sara made it to the phone first, after some scuffling. ³How do
you like the snow?²

He smiled. ³I havenıt been out there yet.²

³Youıve been there for, like, an hour! Whatıs your excuse?²

³Itıs cold out, Sara.²

³Bundle up!² She countered. ³Iım glad you arrived safely, though. Here, Nick
wants to say hello.²

³Hey, Grissom!²

³Nicky,² Gil smiled. ³How are things at work?²

Nick was as smart as the others. ³Iım not telling you anything. Youıre on
vacation! Go relax!²

Gil laughed. When he ended the conversation, he put his phone on the charger
he had plugged in on the desk. Then, he looked out the window again. The
snow was coming down in a pretty pattern, dusting the trees beautifully.

He sighed and stretched, feeling genuinely optimistic about the vacation his
team gave him.

~*~*~*~

Nick hung the phone up and handed it to Warrick. ³I guess he hasnıt seen her
yet.²

Sara piped up. ³She wasnıt scheduled to land until twelve. Sheıd be a couple
hours later getting there than him.²

³How did you find out where she was going, anyway?²

She grinned. ³Girl talk. I was telling her about this story about one of my
friends who worked at a hotel, but I couldnıt remember the name of the
place... there was this food poisoning thing... anyway, she gave it up.²

³And you made that up,² Warrick laughed. He checked his watch. ³I wonder if
Cath noticed her tickets were upgraded.²

³You know she did. She probably just thought it was lucky.²

Nick nodded, agreeing with Sara. ³Probably. That sort of thing does happen,
when they overbook coach, or whatever.² He chuckled. ³Man, Gris is gonna be
some surprised when he finds out that Catherine and Lindsay are in the suite
next to his.²

Sara laughed. Greg popped his head in. ³Does he know yet?²

³No,² she kept laughing. ³Not yet.²

****

Catherine watched Lindsay bounce on the bed. ³Sweetie, be careful, alright?
I donıt want you getting hurt.²

³Donıt worry, Mommy!² Lindsay grinned as she bounced up and down.

She laughed and started unpacking some of their things into the dressers in
the two room suite. She kept one eye carefully trained on her daughter,
aware of everything she did. Bouncing on the bed wasnıt one of the most
dangerous things in the world, but she was still worried. As a mother, it
was one of the things she did best.

³What did you want to do first, today?²

³Can we go skiing?²

³Well,² she shrugged. ³We could go over to one of the ski hills, see about
lessons, if youıd like? And then make one for tomorrow morning?²

Lindsay nodded. ³Sounds great!²

Catherine made a call and asked about ski hills. The one the resort was
built below was one of the best in the area. She asked where the ski school
was, and wrote down a couple directions. Then, she looked at her daughter,
and asked her to find her coat and mittens and hat. ³We can go over now if
you want?²

³Yeah!²

Catherine reached for her sweater and coat, and helped her daughter bundle
up once she herself was dressed warmly. ³Snug?²

The blonde nodded, a huge grin spreading across her face. ³Yeah! letıs go!²

~*~

On the way back, Catherine found herself thinking about Gil Grissom again.
Lindsay was a good distraction from her thoughts, but she didnıt know how to
fix the situation between her and her best friend.

³Mommy?²

She jumped and then scolded herself for being so distant. ³Yes, baby?²

³Your phoneıs ringing.²

She blushed. ³Oh. Sorry.² They slowed their stride so she could fish it out
of her purse. ³Willows.²

³Howıs my Cath doing in the big outdoors?²

³Hey, Warrick,² Catherine grinned, as they slowed to a stop near a building.
³How are things?²

³You and Gil both keep asking, like weıre gonna break down and tell you what
weıre up to down here. In the heat. Sweating.²

She chuckled. ³Weıre definitely not sweating here. Would you like to talk to
Lindsay?² She smiled down at her daughter who kept murmuring things about
talking to her ŒUncle Warrick.ı

³Of course,² she could feel him smiling. ³Put her on, already.²

³Here, Baby,² she handed her daughter the phone. ³Itıs Warrick.²

She smiled when her daughter and Warrick started up an easy conversation.
Catherine, chilled to the bone and wanting to get inside as quickly as
possible, decided to take her daughterıs hand and lead them through the tiny
village until they made it to the coffee shop the girl at the ski school
recommended. She was dying for a rich coffee to chase the chill away.

Just as they rounded one of the corners on the pedestrian streets, she
crashed into something moving and solid.

She wasnıt surprised to find herself hitting the ground. She was surprised
though to hear her daughterıs voice. ³Uncle Warrick, I gotta let you go. We
just ran into Gil.²

Catherine made her eyes open. Sure enough, Gil was standing over her,
looking as surprised as she felt.

³Catherine?²

³Gil?²

³Uncle Gil!!²

She watched Gil pick her daughter up. Then, he extended a hand to her.
Catherine took it, eying him warily. ³Want to tell me why youıre here?²

³This is where they sent me.²

³I guess so,² she smiled. ³Canıt blame you for following me.. the only
person I told was‹²

She stopped, realising what she was about to say and what had happened. ³We
have the most meddlesome team, ever, you know that, right?²

³What?²

She picked up her phone from her daughter and dialled the number of the man
she had been talking to before she got knocked over. ³Warrick Brown,² she
smiled when he answered the phone. ³You wonıt believe who I just ran into.²

³Ahh, um, Grissom,² he responded. ³Lindsay told me.²

³You didnıt know before that, though, did you?²

³What are you talking about? How would we know to send you to the same
resort as the man youıve been in love with for years?²

³Love?² She saw Gilıs face, a mixture of amusement and confusion.

Warrick chuckled. ³Weıre CSIıs. You canıt fool us.²

³So, how long after Sara told you where I was going that you cooked up this
plan?²

He answered with a question: ³What makes you think that I cooked this
whopper up?²

She laughed. ³It has your name written all over it.²

³Well, take advantage of it. New Yearıs Eve tomorrow, I heard thereıs a
party in your hotel, and you have a couple dresses hanging in your closet.²

Her eyes widened. They were really taking this farther than she expected. ³I
didnıt pack any dresses, Warrick.²

³I know, we called your sister for a favour.² He started to laugh again.
³Tell Gris to check his closet.²

³Will he find a suit in his closet, Warrick?²

³Maybe.²

She looked over at Gil, whose eyes were narrow, as he listened intently to
her side of the conversation. ³And what are we supposed to do with these
fancy clothes that you had sent up for us?²

³Go to the party, make lovey dovey eyes at each other, and dance a lot.² He
answered. ³And, perhaps, take the party upstairs... and well, the rest, I
hope I donıt need to spell out for you.²

She blushed. ³No, I donıt think you do.²

³Now,² Warrick backed out of the conversation. ³Iım going to go. Let you two
catch up.²

³Tell Sara Iım gonna get her back someday. Nick and Greg are also in
trouble. And you?² She laughed. ³Watch out.²

She was still smiling when she tucked her phone in her purse. She looked at
Gil, who asked: ³You think they had something to do with this?²

³I know they had something to do with this.² Catherine responded
confidently. ³He admitted it. They were playing matchmaker. Sara, your star
pupil, used a casual conversation I had with her against us.² She smiled.
³Youıll find a suit in your closet, and youıve been given orders to take me
to the New Yearıs party.²

He smiled. ³Really?²

She nodded. ³Really. Would you like to join us for coffee?²

³Lindsay drinks coffee?²

The girl in his arms shook his head. ³Too gross. I like cocoa.²

Gil smiled at her and bounced her once in his arms before pointing to the
coffee shop Catherine had been trying to get to. ³Well, how about we go in
there.²

³Thatıs actually where we were headed.²

****

Catherine was beautiful, Gil decided for the fifth time since he bumped into
her. She looked puzzled, but she was still beautiful. ³I canıt believe they
set us up...² He remarked, after listening to Cath tell him about how Sara
found out where she was staying. ³I never thought it was that... obvious...²

She added: ³Well, I just never thought theyıd be so upfront about it.²

He nodded, sipping his coffee. ³They really set us up, didnıt they...² he
chuckled, and looked at Lindsay. ³Howıs your hot chocolate?²

She smiled while dunking the marshmallows with her spoon. ³Perfect. Who set
you up?²

Catherine smiled while she answered. Gil took that as a positive sign.
³Uncle Warrick, and Nick, and Sara... they surprised us.²

³Oh,² she nodded. ³Like how you didnıt know Gil was going to be here?²

Gil nodded. ³And I didnıt know you two were here.²

She smiled. ³Iım glad they set you up.² She looked up at Gil. ³Now Mommy
wonıt be lonely when I go to my skiing lesson tomorrow morning.²

³Youıre gonna learn how to ski?² Gil asked with a grin.

Lindsay nodded enthusiastically. He could see how excited she was. ³Did you
want to come, too?²

Gil laughed, Catherine grinned. He declined her offer gracefully: ³Lindsay,
I would love to spend time with you, but skiing isnıt really my thing. How
about we do something together later?²

³Sure!² Lindsay smiled.

Catherine turned to Gil. ³I canıt believe they cooked this up. Iıll bet
theyıre the ones responsible for my seat upgrade on the flight.²

Gil smiled, but his heart was beating nervously. ³Did you want to go to the
party?²

She sighed. ³I havenıt been out dancing in a long time. Plus, that would
mean Lindsay wouldnıt have anyone to hang out with...²

³They have sitters, right?² Lindsay piped up. ³Or, you could just go down
for a little while, and I can stay here and rent a movie. Iım old enough,
Mom.²

Both adults chuckled. Catherine raised an eyebrow. ³Were you talking to
Warrick about this?²

She blushed. ³I donıt know what youıre talking about.²

Gil laughed. ³So, it was a total conspiracy, then,² he leaned back in his
chair. Lindsay grinned, but didnıt say anything. He looked up at Catherine,
who only smiled and shrugged. He had so many things he wanted to ask, but he
knew it wasnıt the time; instead, he decided to sit back and enjoy the time
he could spend with her.

****

Catherine blushed when Gil insisted he walk her and Lindsay back to their
room. Once in the elevator, she pushed the fourth floor button; he smiled.
³Weıre apparently not that far away, anyway.²

He was so close to her, and all she wanted to do was lean into him, kiss
him, and feel the sparks she felt the night before. He smelled so good. She
glanced at him and wondered if he knew what she was thinking about; however,
he was too busy staring at his shoes.

The elevator door opened, and Lindsay bounced out while the adults bumped
into each other once, which slowed them down tremendously. Catherineıs knees
buckled at the contact. She was a mess. If they didnıt talk soon, she
wouldnıt be able to survive.

³Weıre really not that far,² Gil mused. When Catherine stopped at her door,
she saw his jaw drop. ³They didnıt...²

³What?²

He tilted his head in the direction of the room next door. ³Iım next to
you.²

She bit back a groan. Not only was he in the same area as she was, but he
was next door; she knew sheıd be insane in less than twenty minutes. ³They
are... incredible.²

Gil laughed. Lindsay took the key from her dumbfounded mother and pushed the
door open. After a couple seconds, she blinked, shaking herself from her
amazement. ³Would you like to come in?²

³Ahh... are you sure?²

She nodded. ³You could bring a book over, and we could curl up by the
fire... donıt get to do that often in Las Vegas.²

He smiled. She felt her toes curl inside her boots. ³Alright. Iıll come
through the connecting door in a couple minutes.²

³Great.²

They parted ways. Lindsay made herself comfortable in the armchair and
turned the television on, while Catherine rushed to the bathroom to freshen
up. She washed her face, and reapplied her makeup; she sprayed a little bit
more perfume on; she fluffed her curly hair; she rushed out into her bedroom
and checked her outfit. Once she was sure she looked fine, she came back
into the main room, and waited for Gil to return.


****

He couldnıt find a book, but he didnıt want to keep her waiting. So, he made
his way to the adjoining door and knocked on hers softly.

³Cımon in,² she called out. When he poked his head hesitantly into the room,
he saw Lindsay on the armchair and Catherine on the sofa in front of the
small fireplace. ³No book?²

Gil shook his head. ³Couldnıt find one interesting enough.²

³No case files?²

He shook his head again, this time smiling. ³Sara took them all out of my
briefcase before I went home to pack.²

She laughed. ³Good. I have a book for you to read.²

He watched her as she stood up and went to a bag that looked like it was her
carryon bag during the flight. She pulled out a thick leather book; he
noticed that the leather was old and dusty, and slightly cracked, and
immediately recognised it as the old journal she had kept from him for so
long.

³Cath...² He looked up at her, meeting her smile with a gaze of uncertainty.
³Are you sure you want me to read that?²

She glanced at Lindsay, who wasnıt paying attention, and then returned to
him. ³Yeah, Iım more than sure. You said you wanted to talk. The best way
for you to understand how I feel is to read some from the old book and the
new.²

³Iıll get to read the new book, too?²

She smiled. ³Old year, old book. New year, new book.²

³So, after the party...²

She nodded. ³After the party, youıll get to read the new book.² Before he
could react, she grabbed his hand and pulled him onto the sofa. He sat, and
she put a pillow against his stomach, for her to put her head. His free arm
draped over her chest. He jumped slightly when she touched her fingers to
his.

³Any entry in particular?²

³You can pretty much read them all. I doubt youıd want to, but you can if
you want.² She lifted her head and reached for the book, flipping to a
specific page. ³How about you start here?²

³Itıs awfully close to the beginning.²

³I know,² she smiled, settling back down against him.

~*~

March 20

I saw him again today. I donıt know his name, which is funny because I
usually remember the birthday boys they bring in here, because I usually end
up dancing for them, and making conversation with them. My mindıs like a
steel trap, but he evades me, and I donıt like it.

I was on stage when I saw him walk up to the bar and order a drink. Gin and
tonic. Even from here, I know. While I moved against the pole, he moved to
the back of the room and took a seat in the dark. There were other men
around, waving their money, but for some reason, I could barely tear my eyes
away from the one man who wasnıt shoving one-dollar bills in my g-string. I
wanted to dance for him so badly. I wanted him more than any line of cocaine
that was waiting for me backstage.

He was very polite, much like the time his friends dragged him in here. And,
I mean dragged. They practically had to tie him down so heıd sit for a lap
dance. He was so cute, so embarrassed, sooo polite, and so very unlike the
other guys in the place. If I walked up to him and asked him if heıd like a
dance, heıd probably say no, and I wouldnıt walk away with a frown on my
face.

Thereıs something about his eyes. Theyıre blue, and you can see how smart he
is if you just look hard enough. I wonder what he sees; especially when he
met my gaze as I danced on the stage.

I really want to get to know him. Why on earth would he like to talk to me,
I have no idea... Iım practically a runaway from the middle of nowhere, with
a nasty coke habit, and I take off my clothes for a living. Not exactly in
his class of people.

~*~

March 29

Heıs been by twice since the 20th. Man. He drives me crazy. I have to build
up enough courage to ask him his name someday.

~*~

Gil chuckled. ³I drive you crazy?²

Catherine smiled up at him; he saw her cheeks flushing. She was adorable,
curled up against him, flushed and grinning. ³You did, then, because you
just sat at the back and watched. You never wanted a dance... I thought you
were scared of me.²

³A little,² he admitted, his cheeks reddening to match the tone hers took.
³Yeah.²

Her eyes widened. ³Why?²

He shrugged. ³You were this incredible, strong, sexy, dynamite that just
seemed untouchable.² He sighed. ³I was a boring bookworm. Didnıt see the
connection between us.²

³Keep reading.²

He chuckled. ³Impatient?²

³A little, yeah. Itıs a big book and you have some years to get through.²

~*~

April 10

Finally! I managed to grab him on his way out the door. My heart was
pounding in my throat, I didnıt know how I was gonna talk to him. He smiled
and said ³Yes, Miss?² like I was someone special... I wanted to faint.

His name is Gil Grissom. He just started work for the Las Vegas Crime Lab.
Heıs a ŒCSI.ı That sounds soooo neat. He is really smart. You can tell, just
by listening to him talk about everyday things. He waited until I was done
for the night, and he took me out for coffee.

I donıt know if he knows I have an addiction. I mean, I donıt have tracks on
my arms; itıs not completely obvious. But, I was shaking and itching a
little, hungry for my next fix.

You can tell heıs not happy with my means of employment, but he isnıt one of
those guys that tries to make you quit. He just sat back and smiled sadly
and said ³I hope you find something someday that suits you better.²

He talked about his job. It sounds really cool. I wonder if Iıd be any good
at it.

~*~

April 20

Tonight, one of the bartenders, Colin, was such a pig. He had asked for a
lap dance. I hate it when he asks for them‹he never pays. He thinks itıs his
right, because he works there or something.

I was staying late because I had been hoping Gil would come by and take me
for coffee again. I was busy telling Colin that I was on my way out when Gil
came in. Colin grabbed my ass and tried to pull me down onto him. Gil
stepped in. I never took him for the Œconfrontational-typeı but he really
stepped in.

Colin took a swing at him and missed. So, he took a swing at me.

I have a shiner. It hurts.

Gil took me to an ice cream place. He watched me snort coke, and he didnıt
flinch or act weird. He mustıve thought I was... awful company. All I could
do was cry. When he dropped me off at home, he promised me heıd go to UNLV
and pick up some admissions brochures for me.

I cried some more after he left.

~*~

He mused sadly, tightening his hold on her. ³I was so worried about you that
night.²

³I was sure youıd never speak to me again,² she responded, turning her head
to look up at him. ³I mean, if you didnıt think I was a drug addict by then,
you knew I was... and‹²

Gil cut her off. ³That would never have kept me from getting to know you.²
He sighed, trying to absorb the information he was receiving. ³Should I read
the next one?²

She shook her head. ³Nah... I know which one you should read.² She started
flipping pages. ³Graduation.²

³Oh boy,² he grimaced.

~*~

Graduation Day! June 1

I canıt believe Iım graduating from UNLV!!!!! Gilıs already lined an
interview up for me at his lab. Heıs been... incredibly kind.

After I received my diploma, I spotted him next to Eddie. My first two
thoughts were: 1. Gil made it! and 2. I canıt believe heıs sitting next to
Eddie. Those two havenıt arrived along since I started dating the band
manager, during that Battle of the Bands Week on campus. I rushed off-stage
and met Gil with open arms. A lot of my classmates looked at me funny; I
forget heıs ³Dr. Gilbert Grissom, master of all things investigative.² To
me, heıs Gil, the guy who likes bugs, the guy whose tongue sticks out a
little bit when heıs thinking about something really hard, the guy who likes
green tea soft serve ice cream.

He told me how proud he was of me, to have conquered university, and kicked
my nasty addiction. He made me cry.

Eddie, most likely for the sole reason of not wanting to be outdone, bent
down and produced a little jewellery box. Gil gasped louder than I did, I
think. So many changes today! I didnıt know what to think. Eddie didnıt know
about the baby, and neither did Gil... I donıt know how I wouldıve started
that conversation. I said yes, because it was easier than saying no and
having to explain myself.

Gil looked awful. I wanted to say no, but Eddie seemed thrilled. I was glad
his baby would have him around as a father; I almost loved him, and it
seemed to be enough.

~*~

She buried her face in his leg, turning away so he couldnıt see her face.
³Cath...² He beckoned. ³Please look at me?²

After a couple more minutes of prodding, she finally heeded him. ³I needed
you to know that. If things had been different...²

He stopped her. He knew the end of that sentence wouldnıt make the present
any easier. ³Canıt change the past, Catherine.²

³I know,² she smiled sadly, whispering hoarsely. ³I have Lindsay because of
him. Sheıs my world,² she wiped at a tear that fell unexpectedly. ³I just
needed you to know.²

He closed the book. ³Is there anything else I have to read?² She nodded.
³Are you sure you want to do this?²

³Yeah,² she said on a sigh. ³There are still a few things you need to know.
I stopped writing for a while, because of the new job, and the pregnancy...
but I started again after Lindsay was growing up. Just a couple more
important things... please?²

Honestly, Gil didnıt know if he could handle any more of the past from her
point of view. ³I donıt know. Canıt we just talk about this like normal
people?²

She chuckled. ³Iım not normal. Neither are you.² Her hand snaked up and
started flipping again. ³Just two more. I promise. Then we can talk.²

~*~

December 27

Another Christmas together, the three of us. Lindsayıs too cute. I pray
every single day that sheıs going to have a happy childhood. Eddie managed
to stay sober for a couple of days, and Gil somehow persuaded Jim to give me
a couple extra days off to spend with my family. Heıs been so great. Our
friendship has helped me so much lately. I wish I could tell him everything.

For Christmas, I asked Eddie if we could have sex like normal people; lying
down, in bed, slowly, without any violence. Donıt get me wrong, I love my
husband, and the sex has always been great. But, Iım getting sick of putting
on a performance every time we go to bed, except itıs not to bed: itıs the
car, the kitchen, a bathroom at a bar... yuck. He was sober; I think thatıs
why he said yes, weak moment or something.

The beginning was great. Better than great. Amazing.

My mind started to wander, though. I couldnıt control it. Before I knew it,
they werenıt Eddieıs hands, they were Gilıs. Gilıs lips, Gilıs body, Gilıs
soft sighs and moans‹even though Eddie was silent. Gil strikes me as the
kind of guy who would make soft noises.

Afterwards, Eddie left to make a call. I was glad he didnıt want to cuddle.
I was too embarrassed that I had fantasised like that.

~*~

Gil coughed, shocked to read what he had read. Catherine groaned softly.
³Nice to see how youıre reacting.²

³I just...² he tried to find the right words. ³I just never knew this was
how you felt. You never told me.²

³And how,² she asked, ³Would you have suggested I start that conversation?²

³Good point. Whereıs the last one?²

She turned to the last page.

~*~

August 17

I caught him. In OUR BED. I canıt believe him. I donıt even know where else
to go. Iım too ashamed to tell Gil, at least not until Iıve regained some of
my emotional control.

Lindsayıs sitting on the bed in the dirty motel, watching television, and
Iım curled up behind her. I told Gil I wouldnıt write in a journal until I
was happy; but, I donıt have anywhere else to go, now. Lindsay turned around
and looked at me. You can see the questions in her face: Why were you and
Daddy yelling? Why did Daddy hit you? Why are we here?

I donıt know what to tell her.

When I yelled at Eddie, he punched me and knocked me down. When I lunged at
him, furious for getting violent in front of Lindsay, he knocked me down
again. I ached. I lay there and waited, eyes closed, until my body healed
enough to get me and my daughter out of there.

Behind my eyelids, Gil was there. He spoke soothingly, told me he loved me,
and wiped the blood off my eyebrow. I wanted to cry to him, but he wouldnıt
hear me; Eddie would and heıd probably kick me again for spite. I never knew
he was that violent.

Eddie left. Lindsay rushed to me with a tissue. I told her to pack some of
her things up.

My marriage is over, and so is this book. I hope the next one works out
better.

****

Catherine looked up and saw tears forming in Gilıs eyes. ³Gil, sweetie?²

He allowed her to wipe them away. ³Iım okay, really. This is a lot, all at
once.² He chuckled. ³A good, heavy read. Better than any novel I could find,
Iım sure.²

She smiled, sitting up so they were on the same level. ³Iıd tell you it was
all made up, if that would help.²

³No,² he looked at her. ³It wouldnıt help. Thanks, though.²

³Thatıs why I wouldnıt let you read that journal,² she rubbed his arm. ³I
didnıt know how youıd react to how I thought of you.² When he lifted his arm
to wrap it around her, she sighed. ³I couldnıt tell you all of that. I
wouldnıt have arrived through it. The proof was already there. Seemed
easier.²

³For you, maybe.²

She turned to look him in the eye. ³You wouldnıt have started squirming when
I mentioned Colin or graduation or my unhappy marriage?² He ducked his head;
she continued: ³I was thinking of you, too. I didnıt just hand it over to
relieve myself. I‹²

³Shhh,² he wrapped his other arm around her and pulled her into his lap.
Almost immediately, she relaxed. He had an indescribable effect on her. ³I
understand, I do.² He nuzzled her neck, creating a path of goosebumps on her
skin. ³It also explains why you didnıt want to talk,² he laughed softly, the
warm air tickling her ear. ³I thought... maybe it was a new thing for you. I
didnıt want to rush you into it, I wanted you to be sure.² He shook his
head. ³You were sure.²

She nodded and laughed. ³I had been sure for almost twenty years, Gil.²

He sighed. ³I canıt believe weıve been friends for that long.²

³Mommy?²

She looked up, shocked that she had almost forgotten her daughter was in the
room. ³Yes, baby?²

³Are you and Uncle Gil okay?²

Catherine slipped out of his arms while Gil nodded. ³Yes, Lindsay, weıre
fine. We were just talking about our past.²

³Like when you were younger like me?²

She laughed softly, nearing her daughter for a hug and a kiss. ³Not quite as
young as you, but, around there.² She glanced at the television. ³What are
you watching?²

Lindsay shrugged. ³Some movie about cats and dogs.²

³Is it the one with the scientist?² Gil asked. Lindsay turned, grinned, and
nodded. Catherine rolled her eyes as Gil made his way to Lindsay, picking
her up and settling her in his lap as he sat in the armchair. ³Letıs watch
it together. I love this movie.²

Catherine laughed, surprised the mood in the room had changed so much. She
knew they werenıt done talking, but a lot of the darker spots had arrived
cleaned up. ³Iım going to lie down. Will you two be okay?²

Gil and Lindsay both nodded.

~*~

Catherine woke up as someone opened the door, but she wasnıt ready to face
whoever it was yet. When she heard the person walk towards her, the
footsteps didnıt belong to her daughter; they were Gilıs, instead.

She heard him sit down on the bed, and take his shoes off. Briefly, she
considered opening her eyes so she could see what he was doing. He sighed,
and she felt him fall back onto the mattress. His breathing evened out.

She took that chance to study him. She propped herself up on one elbow after
she rolled over. He was handsome, and so adorable when he slept. His
eyebrows werenıt furrowed in thought, his lips werenıt drawn together in
serious concentration; he looked peaceful when he slept.

Before she could touch him, she got up and went to check on her daughter.
She was sleeping in her room, surprisingly. She kissed her daughterıs
forehead and pulled the covers up around her. Lindsay hadnıt taken an
afternoon nap in a long time.

She returned to her bed. Gil was still sleeping. Slipping onto the bed from
the other side, she managed to create little disturbance. When she hit the
pillow again, she was ready for sleep to reclaim her.

****

When Catherine woke up, she noticed two things: it was dark in the  room,
and she and Gil were cuddling. In their sleep, they had found each other.
She smiled at him, as he still slept, and reached up to touch his face.

Slowly, he came to, his blue eyes opening in hers. He smiled back at her.
³Good morning.²

³Good evening, actually,² she whispered back. ³Howıd you get Lindsay to take
a nap?²

He chuckled. ³She actually suggested it. Then, I had nothing else to do, and
you looked so peaceful... I thought Iıd join you.²

³I like waking up like this,² she told him while her cheeks blushed.
Although she had a crush on him for years, being able to vocalise how she
felt was still going to take some getting used to.

He eyed her, reading her face. She blushed more, trying to hide her desires.
³Cath? What is it?²

She sighed. ³I really want to kiss you.²

She felt his hand slide up from its position at her waist until it was
cupping her cheek. ³Good, me too,² he murmured while closing the gap between
them. She closed her eyes when his lips touched hers; the sparks that formed
behind her eyes were so colourful, so delightful, mirroring her excitement.
She made her hands work; they wrapped around him.

As the rolled, she pulled him on top of her. Her hunger would never be sated
until she had all of him; she wondered how long it would be before he gave
in.

He sucked on her lower lip. She moaned, panting for more. Her soft noises
caught his attention. He looked down at her; the pause in activity made her
look up at him. ³Youıre beautiful,² he whispered as his lips created a trail
around her face.

³If you keep this up,² she muttered back, ³Iıll never be able to leave this
room.²

³Lindsay might miss her mother,² he said with a groan. She nodded sadly, and
reached up to kiss him softly. She turned her head to glance at the alarm
clock on the nearby night stand. ³Yeah. She must be getting hungry by now.²
He moved back a bit and let her sit up. She didnıt want him to; part of her
actually wanted him to pin her to the bed, not letting her leave until both
of them were fully sated. Her daughter mightıve wanted food, but Catherine
wanted Gil. ³Did you want to join us downstairs for supper?²

³Are you sure?²

She nodded. ³Unless youıd rather lock yourself up in your room and read a
book about bugs,² she smiled at him when he took her hand and kissed her
wrist. Her pulse scattered. ³I know Iıd love to have you there, and
Lindsayıs pretty crazy about you, so... please?²

Gil grinned. ³Iıd love to join you. Just give me a few minutes to wash up in
my room.²

****

Dinner had been wonderful. Gil watched Catherine usher her daughter inside
their room at the end of their walk back from the restaurant, before he
spoke: ³I had a wonderful time.²

³Good,² she smiled up at him. ³I did, too.²

³Should I punish the team when we get back? Or give them raises?² He joked,
sliding an arm around Catherineıs waist. He knew it was a mistake to pull
her close, but it couldnıt be helped. He had been dying to get close to her
all evening.

She laughed, but didnıt answer his question. ³Is this the moment where you
give me the old cliché goodnight kiss?²

He nodded, blushing at her question. She was too smart for him. ³I was
thinking about it. Think youıll let me get away with it?²

She put her hands on his chest. His heart started pounding faster, and he
felt his mouth dry out a little. She could make him so nervous, and all she
had to do was make casual physical contact. She spoke softly: ³Youıve been
good all night... a kiss is the perfect reward.²

He felt one of her hands slide up to cup his cheek, beckoning him down
towards her. Their lips met tentatively at first; however, when he tightened
his hold on her, she gasped and he took advantage of the opportunity. He
felt her arms around his neck and her body swayed against him; it took all
of his control to not slam her against the wall and get swept away.

She moaned softly when he broke the kiss. ³If thatıs a sign of things to
come...²

He chuckled as he licked her earlobe. She shuddered against him. He smirked,
pocketing that piece of information, and loosened his hold on her. ³If I
donıt let you go now, I wonıt be able to...²

³Yeah,² she nodded in hesitant agreement. ³I should probably get inside,
make sure Lindsayıs in bed. She has her skiing lesson tomorrow.²

³Ahhh, right,² he smiled. ³And we have a date tomorrow night.²

³Yes,² she grinned. ³We do.²

He pressed his lips to her forehead. ³Iıll see you tomorrow, then. How
about...² He pulled the tickets out of his coat. ³It starts at ten. Will you
be ready by ten thirty?²

She smiled. ³Iıll see you then. And not one moment early.²

³Alright.²

Catherine kissed him once more before disappearing from his sight. He put
the tickets back in his pocket and shuffled into his own room.

****

Catherine watched as Lindsay followed her skiing instructor down the small
hill, a huge grin spreading over her face. She was proud of her daughter,
and glad that she had the opportunity to try something so different.

³Hey Baby!² She waved as she came near. Slowly, Lindsay spread her legs,
increasing the size of the Œvı her skis made; slowly, she stopped. ³Good
work! How was it?²

³Awesome!² She looked up at her instructor, a teenaged girl named Naomi.
³Howıd I do?²

Naomi, a dark haired girl with freckles, smiled and laughed. ³You were
great! I canıt believe youıve never skied before.² She looked up at
Catherine. ³If youıve already paid at the Ski School, I can take you both
down to the Rental Shop so she can change out of her skis and boots.²

³Sounds great,² Catherine accepted the offer, while extending her hand so
she could pull Lindsay along. ³You had fun?²

Lindsay nodded. ³Yeah. It was great. Can I do it again before we go?²

³Iım sure we can work something out,² she smiled. ³What movie did you want
to watch tonight?²

³Bugıs Life?²

Catherine hoped they could order it from the front desk. She didnıt know
what other childrenıs movies were available. ³Weıll see if itıs on the card,
Baby.²

³Can you order me a pizza?²

³Weıll order you anything you like on the menu, the minute we get back,
okay?²

Lindsay grinned. ³While I help you get ready?²

³Of course!²

Naomi looked back. ³Are you going to the New Yearıs party?²

Catherine nodded, but Lindsay spoke before her. ³She has a date!²

The eldest woman blushed. ³Itıs not a date. Weıre co-workers, and someone
both ended up here over the break. Thought we should get out at least once
this week together.²

³It is too a date! Uncle Warrick told me!²

³Lindsay!² Catherine chuckled. ³You know Gil and I are just friends.²

Naomi was laughing softly at this point. Lindsay huffed, but said nothing.
They managed to return the skis without further mention of the date, but
once the mother and daughter were alone, walking through the village to get
to their hotels, Lindsay started again. ³How come youıre gettinı all dressed
up if it isnıt a date?²

³Itıs a party, Linds. You have to get dressed up. Gilıs even going to wear a
suit,² she answered, hoping to distract Lindsay. ³Iım sure if you ask, heıll
let you help him tie his tie!²

³Are you two gonna hold hands?²

Catherine blushed. ³I donıt know. We havenıt thought that far ahead.²

³But, you wanna.²

³Maybe. Lindsay‹² She pushed the door of the hotel lobby open and held it
for her daughter to walk through. ³‹would you mind if Gil and I started
dating?²

She didnıt speak until they were in the elevator, alone. ³Itıs cool.²

³Itıs cool?²

Lindsay nodded, taking her mittens off. ³Yeah.²

³I havenıt discussed this with him, but what if he became a more permanent
part of your life?²

She smiled. ³You mean like a dad?²

Catherine sighed, bending down to adjust her daughterıs coat, zipping it
open. ³Sort of. I just want to make sure youıre okay with him being around.²

³I like Gil lots.²

They left the elevator and walked to their room together. She was glad that
they didnıt bump into Gil in the hall. She was nervous enough; she didnıt
need to add a surprise visit to the mix.

Once inside, Catherine helped Lindsay out of her snowsuit. Then, she handed
her the room service menu. ³Here,² she said with a smile, the back of her
mind processing how late she was going to be. ³Why donıt you look this over
while I get in the shower?²

³Youıre not going to be too long, are you?²

She smiled and shook her head. ³Two minutes. Tops.²

****

Gil jumped when he heard the knocking at the door. ³Youıre early, you know!²
He called out as he opened his part of the connecting door. He jumped back
when he saw Lindsay standing there. ³Well, Kiddo, what can I do for you?²

She grinned, lifting her arms in silent demand to be picked up. Gil obliged
her, easing her onto his hip. ³Mommy said that if I asked nicely I could
help you get ready for your date!²

He found himself blushing. ³Oh yeah?²

³Yeah,² she nodded exuberantly.

³Well, what do you want to help me with?² He rubbed his chin in thought,
thinking of something she could do with him. ³I know! Did you want to help
me pick out a tie?²

³Can I?²

Gil nodded. ³Of course you can. Theyıre in the closet with my suit.² Lindsay
wriggled, begging to be put down; Gil bent down so she wouldnıt have to jump
very far. She rushed to the closet and flung the doors open. ³What do you
think?²

She eyed each one, glancing at the suit. Gil suppressed the urge to chuckle.
Catherine had a great daughter.

³I like the blue one.² She said, finally. ³Get dressed.²

He raised his eyebrows. ³Just like that, is it?²

³Yeah,² Lindsay grinned as Gil tickled her, before picking her up and
putting her on the bed. Children made him nervous, for the most part, but
Catherineıs daughter was different.

³Alright,² he gave in willingly, knowing it was about time for him to get
dressed. ³Iıll be in the bathroom. Did you want to put the television on?²

She shrugged. ³Sure.²

Gil picked the suit and shirt out of the closet, leaving the tie for later,
and headed into the bathroom. It didnıt take him long at all to get dressed,
but he did comb his damp hair and put a little bit of gel in it.

When he came out of the tiny room, Lindsay was sitting up, looking very
eager. ³What do you think?²

³Spiffy,² she grinned.

³You think the blue tie will go with this?²

It was a charcoal suit, with a light grey shirt. She shrugged. ³Maybe the
grey one with the little lines.²

He smiled, because he preferred that one to the blue tie. ³Good choice.²

³Mom isnıt ready yet,² she admitted while Gil tied the tie around his neck.

³I donıt expect her to be ready for some time.² He glanced at the clock.
They still had thirty minutes. ³How about you go check on her, make sure she
isnıt wasting time?²

³Gil Grissom,² a soft voice from the doorway grabbed his attention. ³I donıt
waste time.² His eyes had been in her eyes, but his visionıs focus expanded
to take in the soft curls in her hair, the black and beaded dress she wore,
the amazingly tall sandals she had on her feet. ³You should know me better
than that.²

He thought his heart stopped. She was exquisite. She smiled and kept
talking. ³Iım taking your silence as a good thing.²

Lindsay giggled. ³Mommy! You made him speechless!²

³Apparently,² Catherine responded, walking towards him. ³You gonna say
something sometime soon?² She smirked. ³Or should I go downstairs and find
someone to compliment me?²

He managed to get his brain working. All he could do at first was reach out
and grab her wrist to keep her from leaving him. She glanced down as he slid
his hand past her wrist, to her fingers. They locked with hers. ³You did
make me speechless.²

³Yeah,² her grin grew.

³You look amazing,² he tried, but shook his head. ³That doesnıt even begin
to cover it. Iım not so great with‹²

Catherine put a soft finger to his lips. ³Itıs perfect. Thank you.²

Lindsay backed up towards the door. ³Iım gonna go start that movie now! Have
fun!²

They both called out to her: Catherine told her to be a good girl and keep
the door locked all night; Gil thanked her for her help and told her to have
a good evening.

Catherine pulled something from behind her back. ³You have some reading to
do before we go.²

He swallowed. ³I donıt know... are you sure you want me to read that now?²

³We have some time to kill,² she shrugged, wrapping her arms around his
neck. ³Iıd like to spend the time getting better acquainted. It just depends
on acquainted youıd like to get.²

He gulped. The way she was looking at him was driving him wild. ³I think
getting *that* acquainted would prevent us from going downstairs.² He knew
that if he kissed her once, heıd never be able to stop. She blushed and
looked away. ³Iıll read it if you want, now, but...²

³You afraid Iım going to give your kiss a bad rating?²

Gil found it amazing that Catherine only had to look at him a certain way to
make him blush. ³Uhhh, maybe,² he managed to smile back at her. ³Donıt you
think that youıre over-sharing with me?²

³What do you mean?²

³Well... diaries are private. I donıt want to intrude‹² He stopped short. ³I
just donıt want to make you uncomfortable.²

She smiled and shook her head. ³Youıve never been able to do that. Nothing
would change that now.²

³Alright,² he gave in. The Willows women certainly could persuade him into
doing anything they wanted him to do. ³Iıll read your diary.²

She clapped. ³Goody. Letıs sit down.²

³Ahhh, Cath, that might not be a good idea.²

She raised an eyebrow and scrunched her face up a little. ³Why not?²

³All I have in here is a bed.²

³Donıt trust me?² Her look of confusion was replaced with a hungry smile. He
looked back at her, but didnıt say anything. ³Alright. You take the bed,
Iıll lean.²

He smiled. ³You can sit. Iıll stand.²

³Goody,² she winked, flopping down on the bed. He rolled his eyes at her and
took the book from her outstretched hand. ³Read the first one.²

~*~

December 27

Gil and I kissed last night. Iım so glad. I think heıs glad, too, although
he can be so hard to read sometimes‹now, more than before. He always looks
like heıs sitting on a secret.

At first, I saw him leaning in to kiss my cheek... and you know when that
little voice tells you ³now or never?² Well, I figured it was the best
chance to find out, one way or another, if something was there. When we
kissed for the second time, I thought my legs were turning into jelly.

Why does he do that to me?

Love. I know it is. Man, thatıll scare him off. Scares everyone off, these
days... except schoolgirls. Thatıs one thing Iım definitely not.

So many things have changed. I wonder how the talkıs going to go when we get
back from our vacations.

****


Catherine saw the look on his face. She shrugged, feeling very sheepish. Gil
asked: ³So, you planned that?²

³Sorta... it was one of those moments that could make or break it. It was a
gamble,² she smiled. ³I couldnıt resist.² Her smile faltered. ³Youıre not
mad, are you?²

He smiled back at her, relieving her of her panic. ³Of course not. A little
surprised. But, definitely not mad.² She watched him thumb the page over.
³Iım going to wait until we come back to read the last entry.²

³Why?²

³New year, new book, remember?² She sighed while she stood up, extending her
arms. She wanted him near her; when he set the book down and took her hands
in his, she used the opportunity to pull him closer. She felt him nuzzle her
curls with his face. ³You smell really good.²

Catherine giggled. The vibrations in his voice tickled her, while making her
stomach flop. ³If you keep that up, we wonıt leave this room.²

³Oh yeah?² He pulled back and gave her that half-smile she loved so much.

She nodded. ³Yeah.²

³Well,² he chuckled, turning a little red under her hungry gaze. ³Maybe we
should head downstairs now?²

She sighed. ³Yeah, we probably should.²

³Do you have everything you need?² She held up her purse in reply and
nodded.  ³Okay.² He patted his chest, feeling his wallet and tickets. ³Me,
too,² he offered her his hand. ³Shall we?²

Without any hesitation, she took his hand in hers. ³We shall.²

****

The night had been going really well, Catherine thought. True, he hadnıt
asked her to dance yet, but he was attentive and thoughtful, and he never
stopped looking at her with Œthat lookı in his eyes‹a mixture of lust and
love he was able to project.

A couple men had come by their table and asked if sheıd like to dance with
them, but she declined. The look of jealousy that clouded Gilıs expression
each time one arrived was priceless, telling her how he felt. She usually
hated any sort of possessive attitude in men; in Gil, though, she found it
reassuring to know he wanted her so much.

They each had a glass of champagne, when a waiter had stopped by their table
sometime after eleven-thirty.

³Should we toast?²

She smiled. ³To what?²

³Us,² he suggested.

³Sounds great,² she said, sliding her hand across the table to connect with
his. She held her glass higher, and said: ³To us.²

He nodded, and tapped his glass to hers, before they both had a sip of the
bubbling liquid.

³Gil?²

³Yes, Catherine?² He said, picking her hand up, running his thumb along her
pulse point. She swayed a little.

³When are you going to ask me to dance?²

He blushed. ³Iım actually not that great a dancer, Cath,² he admitted. ³I
was hoping we could save that for later, when there isnıt anyone around,
anyone that could point and laugh.²

³Oh, cımon,² she tried to persuade him. ³Itıs almost time for the
countdown... I want to dance. With you.² She giggled in delight when he gave
in and stood up, after putting his glass down. She left hers, tucking her
purse on the seat, before following him.

³Happy?² He asked her, once he was wrapped around her, once they started
moving slowly to the mellow jazz music being played.

She nodded, resting her head on his chest. ³Yep,² she huffed, tightening her
hold on him. ³Youıre good at this, Liar.²

He chuckled and continued to rock her back and forth. ³You know,² he spoke
softly in her ear. ³Thereıs something I have to tell you.² She jumped at his
words, lifting her head so she could look at him. ³Nothing bad, Cath.²

³You had me worried.²

³I love you.²

She blushed, even though she knew the feelings had been there on some level
the entire time they were friends. Her abdomen tingled. ³I love you, too.²
She lifted one of her hands and brought it to his cheek, where she caressed
him gently. He dipped his head lower and kissed her lips chastely. She
pouted. ³You can do better than that.²

Gil chuckled. ³I know.²

³Well?² She stamped her foot once. ³Are you going to make me beg?²

He kept laughing softly. ³No, I suppose not,² he said after a little while.
³Itıs just going to take some getting used to.²

³What is?²

³Being able to kiss you,² he answered honestly.

She smiled, tightening her grip on him so she could lean up. When she kissed
him, she didnıt intend for it to be polite. He tried to keep it that way,
but she managed to seduce him beyond his comfort zone. When his lips parted,
she took advantage.

Behind her, she could hear a member of the hotel staff announcing that it
was almost time to start the countdown. Gil moaned in disappointment when
she lifted away from him. She smiled, running a finger over his lips. ³We
came down here to celebrate the new year, Gil... I donıt wanna miss the
countdown.²

³I know,² he smiled back at her, letting his arms wrap around her waist in a
way that gave them both enough space to turn to watch the proceedings.

³Ten!²

Catherine glanced back at Gil and smiled.

³Nine!²

He grinned at her, cheeks still a little pink.

³Eight!²

Before she could control the urge, she was leaning in again to kiss him.

³Seven!²

She heard him chuckle. His grip tightened.

³Six!²

A moan escaped her lips, and he took advantage of her lips parting.

³Five!²

She threw her head back, granting him access to whatever he wanted.

³Four!²

He whispered her name in her ear.

³Three!²

She fell forward and looked at him, lips swollen, chest heaving.

³Two!²

He grinned.

³One!²

Catherine grinned back.

³Happy New Year!²

The entire room was loud and in celebration. To Catherine, though, there was
only one other person in the huge ballroom with her. She wrapped her arms
around his neck, whispering ³Happy New Year,² while he swung her around.

When he finally set her down, he kissed her. She felt her toes curl; she
never wanted to stop kissing him.

³Can we go upstairs now?² He asked softly. She loved how even his ears got a
little pink when he blushed; she also loved that she could make him blush.

³Yeah,² she nodded, still smiling.

****

Outside their hotel room doors, Gil found himself pressed against the wall;
Catherine was busying herself with his tie and buttons. ³Cath...² He groaned
when she kissed his chest. ³We canıt do this out here.²

³I know,² she replied with a roll of her eyes. ³I was just...²

³Getting carried away?²

He watched her swollen lips stretch into a smile. ³Yeah.²

³You go into your room, say goodnight to your daughter; Iıll go into mine,
order a bottle of wine...² She nodded, accepting his suggestion. ³And you
can come over whenever youıre ready.²

³Sounds good.²

She pulled him down for one more kiss. It took all of his strength and then
some to not get swept away in the embrace. He could taste her promises, the
confidence of knowing what was around the corner.

When she pulled back, he found himself blushing again; this time it was the
way she eyed him over, like some of the other times. He couldnıt believe how
often his cheeks had been red since they kissed the first time.

³See you soon,² she whispered after slipping the key into her lock and
pushing the door open.

Gil found his own key and entered his room. Instead of panicking and rushing
around to get ready, he leaned against the wall and let out a long whoosh of
air.

He couldnıt believe how lucky he was. It struck fear in his heart.

****

³Mommy?²

³Hey, Baby,² she smiled as she made her wobbly legs take her to her
daughterıs room. The light was still on. ³Why was the door open?²

Lindsay was in her pyjamas, smiling as she brushed her hair. ³I heard you
and Uncle Gil talking.²

³Ohh. Thatıs alright then. How was your night?²

³Good,² she replied, putting the brush down and then bouncing to her mother
for a hug. ³How was your date?²

Catherine swooped her daughter up. ³We had a great time. We danced, we
talked... then we had the countdown...² She sighed, making her way to the
bed. ³It was fun.²

³Gil can dance?²

She chuckled. He actually hadnıt been that bad at all. ³Yeah, he can. Heıs
pretty good, too.²

Lindsay slid out of her motherıs arms and under the covers. ³Neat.²

³Yep,² she nodded in agreement. Then, she pressed her lips to the top of her
daughterıs head. ³I love you, Linds.²

³I love you, too, Mommy. Happy New Year.²

³Same to you. Iım going to go next door,² she explained before leaving the
room. ³Gil and I have to talk about some stuff.²

³Work stuff or personal stuff?²

³A little of both,² Catherine wondered how her daughter knew all the right
questions to ask. ³Weıll be quiet, but if you need us, just knock on the
doors, okay?²

Lindsay nodded. ³Okay.²

³Donıt forget to get a good sleep,² Catherine smiled on her way out, ³Cuz
youıll need to keep your strength up if I can get you a ski class.²

Lindsay giggled excitedly, before she closed the door to the bedroom and
went into her own. She checked herself over in the mirror, and wondered if
she should change. She knew Gil wouldnıt care if she was wearing a potato
sack; but, she still wanted to look her best.

After a couple minutes of fingering the clothes hanging in her closet, she
knew exactly what to wear to make a statement. She slipped out of her dress,
keeping the shoes on, and grabbed the shirt she wanted. She checked her
makeup, sprayed a little bit of perfume on, and walked into the living room.

When she knocked on Gilıs door, she heard him call out to her softly. She
took a deep breath before pushing the door open, knowing that everything was
going to change for the better in a few minutes.

Gilıs room was dimly lit; he had turned the overhead light off. She saw him
pulling the wine out of the ice bucket. When he looked up at her, he gasped.

She giggled. ³Gonna stand there all night with your jaw on the floor?²

****

³Gonna stand there all night with your jaw on the floor?²

Gil managed to close his mouth. She was wearing a large white button-up
shirt, her black bra and panties, and her strappy sandals from earlier. Her
hairıs curls were looser, even sexier than before‹if that was possible. He
didnıt think he was going to make it out of that room alive.

³Gonna keep wearing things that make me speechless?²

She smiled, clicking the door shut behind her. ³Only if youıll let me.² He
chuckled, and made himself turn away and pour her a glass of red wine.
³Here,² he offered it to her. She smiled and took it from him; when their
hands touched, he felt sparks.

³Thanks,² she said after taking a sip. ³Want to sit?²

He nodded. ³I think we, ah, can handle that now.²

³I donıt know...² she laughed. He sat against the headboard, and put his
glass of wine down on the bedside table. He sat there, watching her
calculate her next move. There werenıt many thoughts running through his
head, but they all concerned her.

Catherine set her glass on the other bedside table, on the other side of the
bed, and crawled across the mattress to get to him. Once at his side, she
sat down, curling into him. He tucked his arms around her, wondering what
she was thinking.

She had pressed her face into his chest and inhaled deeply. His curiosity
was getting the better of him. ³Cath?²

³Hmmmm?²

³What are you thinking about?²

Her eyes were very dark. She smiled up at him when she lifted her head.
³Just thinking that I want to take this slowly,² she answered, her voice was
a soft whisper.

³We donıt have to do any‹²

She put a finger to his lips. ³Youıre either afraid, or youıre still trying
to be the perfect gentleman.²

³Do I have to respond to that?²

³Maybe,² she licked her lips, and then sobered. ³Do I really frighten you?²

He sighed and shook his head. ³No, not so much.²

³I intend to bed you, Gil,² she grinned, content with his answer. He didnıt
doubt her determination, which fuelled his fear. ³I only want to take this
slowly because I donıt want the night to end.²

³Oh.² She was starting to make sense.

She nuzzled his throat, chuckled when he gulped, and then asked: ³Why are
you scared?²

³Cath, Iım not scared‹²

³You so are,² she cut him off. ³You forget that I know you better than
anyone.² He bit off a groan, knowing heıd come this far, but he couldnıt
pretend any more. ³So, Œfess up.²

He gulped harder, swallowing the ball of fear so it was lodged in his
throat, when she sat up and straddled his waist. ³Cath?²

³Not letting you go until you talk...²

³Cath,² he sighed, reached for her hands that had been planted on her
shoulders. ³Itıs been a while since Iıve done this.²

³Made love?²

He blushed. ³Yes, that, and fallen in love, dated, and everything that falls
after that.²

She smiled, nodding in understanding. ³Well, Iıll just have to steer you
through it. No fears, okay?²

She bent down and kissed him, deeply and passionately. He could taste the
wine on her tongue, and her natural sweetness past that. When she pulled up,
he whispered: ³I love you.²

³I love you,² she smiled, before bending down for another kiss. This one was
darker, potently filled with promises of things to come. Before his mind
could formulate a set of instructions for him to carry out, he felt her
hands take his and put them on her body. She moaned when one of his hands
found a breast, squeezing it gently.

His other hand toyed with the white shirt, before deciding that it had to
come off. He had seen her this bare before, but this time he was her only
audience, and it was much more personal.

Briefly, he fingered the straps on the lace bra, but she shook her head.
³Not yet,² she sighed, while planting kisses along his jaw. ³Slower.² She
lifted her head. ³You have to take something off, too.²

He chuckled, bringing his hands up to his shirt. She swatted them away, and
unbuttoned the shirt herself. ³I started it,² she joked. ³Might as well
finish it.²

When her fingers brushed against the waistband of his pants, he struggled
for control. When she finished with his shirt, and ran her hands over the
bare skin she exposed, he let the moan escape his lips. ³That feels... sooo
good.²

³Good,² she replied. ³Itıs supposed to.²

³Let me....² he trailed off, unsure of the right words. She pulled him down,
so they were lying down. Underneath him, she was still beautiful, but
seeming more vulnerable than she ever did before. He dipped his head and
began to test her; kissing other parts of her skin, she moaned just the
same.

She arched her back when he licked her navel. When he stopped, pausing to
look up at her when she lifted her head, she grumbled something incoherent
about being frustrated. He wondered if his ears were going to get him
through the night; the worries were chased away when she mock-scolded him:
³I donıt know whatıs going on up there, but stop thinking and start kissing
me.²

He laughed at her, and returned to hover over her, leaning down to kiss her.
Together, they spent the night building fires, and letting them burn.

Gil never wanted to leave that room.

****

³Gil...² She smiled when she woke up. His face was the first thing she saw;
she wanted every morning to be like that.

He kissed her forehead. ³Good morning.²

Catherine sat up a bit and reached for her shirt that was on the floor.
³Should probably make sure Lindsayıs okay...² She trailed off when Gil
grabbed her wrist and pulled her close. ³I think we should wake up like this
every day.²

³Sounds good to me,² he said before kissing her.

She moaned softly. ³We canıt... not now... Lindsay has to get to her ski
class...² She paused and straightened up. ³And you owe me an hour-long
massage!²

Gil chuckled. ³Wondered how long it was going to take you to remember that.²

³I already told you that I donıt forget anything that you say. Do you have a
pair of boxers I could borrow?² She asked when she stood up. He pointed to
the top drawer in the dresser. ³Thanks.²

He let out a whistle of approval. She turned and faced him, wearing nothing
but his black silk boxers. ³Like what you see?²

³You have no idea,² he nodded.

When she put her shirt on, she came back to him. ³Iıll go check on my
daughter, weıll get her ski class straightened out... and then,² she asked:
³How do you feel about breakfast?²

³Well,² he smiled. ³I love breakfast. Depends, though, on who Iım eating it
with.²

She giggled when he swooped her up into his arms and tickled her. This was a
side of Gil she never wanted to lose sight of. She had never seen him so
relaxed; she had never seen him so happy.

~*~

³Lindsay?² Catherine looked at her daughter over her bowl of yogurt. ³What
did you just say?²

³You heard me,² she grinned, sticking her tongue out at her mother.

At a loss for words, she glanced to Gil, who simply said: ³Iım all for it.²

She sighed, falling back against her chair, reaching for her cup of coffee.
She watched Lindsay look from Gil to Catherine, watching for a sign from
either of the adults. She couldnıt believe her daughter suggested such a
thing, despite that fact that she was going to suggest it to Gil within
days.

³Well,² she smiled. ³Gil, if youıre game, Iım game.²

There was a strong urge to giggle when his jaw dropped, but she fought
against it. He regained control of his mouth, and then spoke: ³Lindsay, do
you want to be the flower girl?²

****

Gil looked at Catherine, uncertainty written across his face. ³What do you
think theyıll say?²

She held his hand up in hers. He admired how the rings shone. ³Well, I think
theyıll think this was all their doing.²

³In a way...²

³Yeah,² she agreed with a nod.

Hand in hand, they walked into the office together. Office relationships
werenıt encouraged, but Gil wasnıt going to hide how he felt about
Catherine. He had told her that, and she felt the same way. They were
husband and wife, after all. Gil watched some of the people in the building;
they reacted slightly when they saw the duo holding hands, but didnıt say
anything.

At the doors to the Break Room, Gil paused and turned to face her. ³Last
chance, Mrs. Grissom.²

She wrapped her other arm around his waist, pulling him close to her. ³Iım
still game.²

³Good.²

He pushed the door open. Warrick and Greg were sitting at the table; Sara
and Nick were making coffee. Things seemed normal.

³Hey, guys,² Greg spoke first. ³Nice vacation?²

³Greg‹²

³Holy!² He cut Nick off. Gil chuckled when he pointed at their hands.
³Guys!²

Warrick was the first to notice the rings. ³Hey... Cath, you two didnıt do
anything life-altering while you were away, did you?²

She smiled. Gil saw how happy she was, and it made his heart warm. ³Maybe.
Define life-altering.²

Sara was next. ³You two got married?!²

Gil sheepishly grinned. ³Yeah. It seemed like a good idea at the time.²

³And now?²

Catherine beamed. ³I know it was the best thing we ever did.²

After a chorus of best wishes and hugs, Greg asked: ³So does this mean weıre
not in trouble?²

Gil frowned. ³Iım afraid youıre all still going to have to face up to what
you did.²

³Damn,² Greg snapped his fingers.

Nick cringed. ³So, whatıs gonna happen to us?²

³Well,² he had to avoid Catherineıs eyes, because he knew heıd start to
laugh. ³For starters, since night shift is going to be short two CSIıs for a
week, I need you three to be here every night. Sara, youıll have the lead
for the first two nights. Then, Nick, and then Warrick, you can have the
remaining days.² He looked at Greg. ³If the labıs not backed up, you can
even take Greg along with you.²

³Really!?² Gregıs eyes bugged out of his head.

³Think itıs not adequate punishment?²

Sara put her hand over Gregıs mouth. ³Oh, no, nothing like that at all. Itıs
fine. Weıll take care of everything. In fact, why donıt you two punish us a
little bit more, and get out of here?²

Catherine put a hand on Gilıs chest. ³Sounds great. Weıll see you all in a
week.²

Before Gil could say anything else, Catherine had pulled him out of the
room. ³I had instructions for them‹²

³You just wanted to warn them about Greg, being careful, all that. They
know.² She smiled wickedly. ³Letıs get out of here.²

He felt his knees shake and his stomach flop. He knew heıd never be able to
deny her anything. ³Alright. Time for that massage yet?²

She kissed his lips gently. ³Definitely time.²